“I’m just not very good at doing nothing.”
Multiple clients have said this to me recently, and each time, it’s hit painfully close to home. Because for years, that was my exact reality.
Back when I was working as a Head of Marketing, my strategy for managing my exhaustion was simple: drag myself through back-to-back meetings, early morning workouts, and social-packed evenings and weekends, holding out for a holiday “once I’d got through this busy period”.
I would book a ‘fly-and-flop’ week away, plant myself on a sun lounger, and wait for the magic reset.
But instead of feeling restored, I felt restless. My brain wouldn’t switch off. I’d constantly feel an itch to be productive, so the holiday would quickly turn into doing things just to keep my busy mind satisfied. A week later, I’d land back home feeling just as tired and lethargic as when I left.
At the time, I didn’t understand what my brain and body actually needed. I thought rest simply meant sitting on the sofa or having a nap. And because I genuinely couldn’t do that, I assumed I was just incapable of switching off.
What I hadn’t realised yet was simple: I needed a different type of rest.
Why sleep and ‘doing nothing’ don’t always leave you feeling rested
If you have an ambitious, fast-moving mind, being told to ‘just relax’ can feel deeply uncomfortable. Sitting still with your thoughts can bring boredom, restlessness, or an urge to do something productive.
But rest isn’t just about stopping activity. It’s about restoration.
In her book Sacred Rest, Dr Saundra Dalton-Smith describes seven types of rest. Her framework offers a way to think about what’s leaving you feeling depleted and what might help you feel restored.
Sleep matters, but it doesn’t necessarily address everything that’s draining you. If you’ve spent your week making decisions, navigating demanding relationships and dealing with constant noise, a weekend on the sofa might not meet all your needs.
Here are the seven types of rest and practical ways to approach them when you have a busy mind:
1. Physical rest
This comes in two forms: passive rest, such as sleeping and napping, and active rest, like stretching or massage.
If you sit at a desk all day or carry tension in your shoulders, hips, or any other part of your body, physical rest might involve some movement rather than more time sitting still.
What you could do:
Go for a slow stroll outdoors (without tracking it on your watch!)
Do five minutes of simple stretching on the floor.
Book a massage.
2. Mental rest
This is for when your brain feels like it has dozens of tabs open and you keep forgetting simple things. Mental rest is about giving yourself a break from constantly thinking, planning and making decisions.
What you could do:
Do a brain dump into a notebook to get spinning thoughts out of your head.
Take a deliberate five-minute screen-free pause between meetings.
Allowing yourself to have a take-away or ready meal for dinner to avoid making a decision or following a recipe.
3. Sensory rest
Bright screens, pinging notifications and constant background chatter can leave you feeling overwhelmed. Sensory rest means dialling down the input your brain is dealing with.
What you could do:
Sit with noise-cancelling headphones on in silence.
Dim your lights in the evening (no big lights on here, thank you!).
Simply close your eyes for two minutes in the middle of the day.
4. Creative rest
If your role involves solving problems or generating ideas, creative rest offers a break from the pressure to come up with something new.
It isn’t about making art or producing something. In Dalton-Smith’s framework, it’s about appreciating beauty, inspiration and awe.
What you could do:
Walk outside in nature (try with no headphones).
Visit an art gallery or browse a bookshop.
Listen to music you love with no agenda.
5. Emotional rest
This is the relief of dropping the “I’m completely fine” mask. If you spend your days people-pleasing, smoothing things over for others, or hiding when you feel stretched, you might need space to express how you actually feel.
What you could do:
Have a conversation with someone you trust where you can answer “How are you?” honestly.
Practise saying a clear “no” without offering three paragraphs of justification.
6. Social rest
Pay attention to how you feel after spending time with different people. Some relationships demand a lot of energy from you, while others leave you feeling lighter.
Social rest can mean spending time with people who don’t need anything from you, rather than always being the person who helps, organises or listens.
What you could do:
Hang out with a friend who lets you turn up in a jumper with unbrushed hair.
Protect an evening to yourself when you need a break from social demands.
7. Spiritual rest
This is about connecting to something bigger than your daily to-do list. It’s the need for belonging, meaning and purpose beyond work targets.
It doesn’t have to be religious, although faith can be part of it if that matters to you.
What you could do:
Volunteer for something you care about.
Spend time in a community where you feel a sense of belonging.
Make space for reflection, meditation or prayer, depending on your beliefs.
Choose one small thing to try
You don’t need to work out all seven types of rest at once. Just pause for a moment and ask yourself: What kind of tired am I feeling today?
Maybe your body needs some movement, your brain needs a break from taking in information, or you need time with someone who lets you be yourself.
Pick one small thing that might help, and see how it feels. You can adjust as you learn what works for you.
Rest doesn’t have to mean sitting still and doing nothing. It can mean finding the kind of rest that works for you.
Frequently asked questions
Why am I still exhausted even when I’ve rested?
Sleep and physical rest matter, but they might not address everything that’s leaving you depleted. Mental demands, sensory overload or difficult relationships may call for different kinds of rest.
Rest isn’t the only possible explanation for exhaustion, though. If your tiredness persists, is unexplained or affects your daily life, speak to your GP.
How do I know what type of rest I need?
Start by noticing what feels most depleted. Is it your body, your ability to focus, your senses, creativity, emotions, social energy or sense of meaning?
Choose one small, restorative thing to try, then notice whether it helps.
How can coaching help with burnout and rest?
When you’re running on empty, figuring out what you actually need can feel overwhelming on your own. As a coach, I provide a calm thinking space to help you untangle your thinking, identify what’s draining your energy, and explore sustainable habits that work with your brain instead of against it.
Coaching can support that exploration, but it isn’t a substitute for medical or mental health care.
If you want support finding a pace of life that feels good, you can book a discovery call to explore working together.
